Suffering

^"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed." 1 Peter 4:12-13

Suffering.  It really stinks. I know I was never promised something easy or that all my troubles would go away but I think deep down inside I had hoped I would understand them more than I do. I am frustrated and exhausted by the suffering and I'm trying to allow God to make my yoke easier (Matthew 11:28-30). I am seeking refuge in my weariness with Jesus. I have learned a lot and I am thankful for a lot in my suffering despite the sadness that overwhelms me at times.  I have to daily choose to be thankful and remind myself the good that has come out of the pain and the emptiness:

My husband. His love, grace and patience with me is overwhelming. Our marriage is truly better because of this trial.
Our friends and family.  They (you) are incredible.  The outpouring of God's love we've felt from them (you)
The joy and hope for the future. We are so excited to start trying for a baby again.
The little ways that God has spoken to me.

I am looking forward to being overjoyed when God's glory is revealed.  Through this I have truly begun to understand the pain that God must have felt watching his Son die on the cross.  I take heart that God is good, he is still here with us and is taking care of our little one.

Thanks for being by my side through these crazy life circumstances. You truly make my yoke easier by being Jesus with skin on.  Thanks for being with me in my messiness. It's been through my friends that I've really been able to see God's love.  I cling to God's love and the joy that must prevail despite my sadness.